Grandma refuses to babysit 8-month-old grandson full-time, despite doing so for her eldest son's child, leading parents to demand she stay away altogether: ‘They never leave him alone with us’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 9, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Parents tend to create rivalry between their children, sometimes without even noticing. All it takes is giving one child more attention than the other, and the jealousy suddenly spurs, and once it starts, it's hard to stop it.

When the grandmother in the story below decided to help her oldest son by babysitting her baby grandson full-time, she created a seed of jealousy between her children. This seed became a full-grown jealousy plant when her younger son asked her to do the same thing for his child, and she refused.

While she doesn't owe any of her children a full-time babysitting service, by giving it to one child and refusing the other, she created an unfair balance between her own children. This led her younger son to a path of resentment for the unfair treatment.

In the wake of the grandmother's refusal to babysit their child, the younger son and his wife had to find a different arrangement. After they did, they decided they would not let the grandparents be alone with their child as a "punishment" for refusing to help them the same way they did the older son. 

Justified? Read the full story to decide.

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  • Happy grandma with baby
    via ezoom

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AlTA for wanting some alone time with my youngest grandson even though my wife refused regular babysitting?

    My wife and I are both 48. When we were 40, our first grandchild was born via our oldest son.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • Our oldest grandson is now 8. My wife doesn't work, so from ages 0-4 she babysat him while his parents went to work.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • Now she only babysits him during holiday breaks or summer vacation. Since he isn't a toddler, listens well, and can entertain himself with a tablet or TV, it's fairly easy for her.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • Our youngest son is 22 and has an 8- month-old son. When he was 2 months old, our youngest son seemed to expect my wife to babysit him just like she did with our oldest grandson.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • When she told him she was tired and didn't want to babysit as much anymore, he was upset and brought up his brother and nephew, but then just dropped it.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • Since then, we haven't had any alone time with our youngest grandson. His Wife quit her job to stay home until their child starts school.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • Even when my wife offers to babysit, they refuse. We confronted them about it. Our youngest son said that we had "already refused" and being alone with their son counts as babysitting, so they didn't see any reason to change anything.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • After that, he added that we acted like watching his son would be a burden, while his mom continues to watch his nephew from time to time, so he doesn't want his family to rely on us.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • It's been five months now, and my wife feels hurt and left out. We've only seen our grandson when his mom or my son visits, and they never leave him alone with us.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • It really hurts. My wife just didn't want to be a full- time babysitter again, and now it feels like we're being punished for it.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • I'm not really sure what to do.
    via InterviewUnited7181
  • A Sad Woman Sitting on the Sofa
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Embarrassed_Sky3188 Given the younger's extreme reaction, I have to wonder if the older is the golden child and this is the last straw.
    via Embarrassed_Sky3188
  • Performer-Complete Infant and toddler daycare in my area is roughly $20k-25k a year. Your wife babysitting for 4 years saved his family likely close to $100k just in daycare costs. That doesn't account for the income gained by two people working, and one person's career being stifled by having to leave the workforce. In total, depending on what their jobs are and how much they make, you gave one son something close to $200k-$400k+ and the other nothing. You are not obligated to babysit your gran
    via Performer-Complete
  • cincyaudiodude Do you understand that you basically gave your oldest about $80,000 of free childcare, and now your youngest son has to come up with that money himself? Obviously you aren't required to provide it, but I think just about anyone would be upset if their parents gave one of their siblings $80,000 and gave them nothing. Just like you aren't required to babysit for your youngest, he isn't required to let you spend time alone with his child. On top of that, your fixation on being alone
    via cincyaudiodude
  • Dry_You549 It is absolutely in your wife's rights to not want to babysit but it is also in your sons rights to decide what is best for his family. Your wife is not obligated to babysit for them but honestly what did the 2 of you all think would happen? Of course your son sees the double standards. He seen his mom bend over backward to watch his nephew and still watching his nephew but would not do the same for his son. Of course it hurts him. He sees the double standards. I think it would not ha
    via Dry_You549
  • Loud_Classroom5334 Well I can see there is a double standard. You all went out of your way to help one son, but you won't for the other. However, it was never your job to provide childcare in the first place. If you want to see your grandson, have you all offered to visit them? Have you tried to talk to them about wanting to spend time with your grandson?
    via Loud_Classroom5334
  • Cognac Musings Your grandson is 8 months old. Why do you need alone time with him? He's not even old enough to enjoy going to places like the zoo or wherever you want to take him.
    via CognacMusings
  • Separate-Parfait6426 Is there more to the story? My oldest brother was my parent's favorite son, and when younger brothers did not get something that older brother got, regardless of the reason, younger brothers saw it as favoritism, and two of them are now LC with mom (I have 4 brothers).
    via Separate-Parfait6426
  • melcheae I mean, you saved one kid FOUR YEARS of paying for full time child care? That's a lot of in kind financial support. If it wasn't clear from the beginning that was a one time offer for one kid/grand kid, do you honestly not understand why your younger son is salty? INFO: how clear was the initial arrangement, and how clear was it what support you'd be offering in the future?
    via melcheae
  • lookbacklater You can want whatever you want. But you're not entitled to it. Your younger son wanted your wife to help out with babysitting in the same way that she helped out your older son. She said no, and your younger son took no for an answer. Now you are asking for something, and they are saying no. You also need to take no for an answer. Actions have consequences. NAH
    via lookbacklater
  • Maleficent-Courage48 Yta. You aren't entitled to alone time with your grandchild.
    via Maleficent-Courage48

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aita baby kids brother mother siblings babysitting family grandparents parents children Father
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